'I’m Bored'

In defence of boredom

A person who is full refuses honey,
but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry.¹

My mum can testify that I did not cope well with boredom when I was a young lad.

With endless energy, I would literally bounce off the walls. Writhing on the floor, I’d moan, ‘I’m bored I’m bored I’m bored’, until one of my sisters would give me a well aimed kick in the shins with her steel-toe-capped Doc Martens.

So if you had told my 10-year-old self that boredom is valuable, I would have laughed in your face (probably while doing cartwheels). My life was a perpetual itch to fill the gap, craving the relief that comes with the preoccupation of a restless mind and body.

Fast-forward thirty years, and the once spartan diet of daily existence is gone — replaced by a bottomless buffet. There is simply no need for boredom any more. Being bored is an uncomfortable, gnawing feeling, like hunger. Who chooses to be hungry?

For many in the modern world, boredom is dead. But we are far worse off for its loss.

Boredom helps us to appreciate what we have

As the proverb I opened with says:

…even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry.

I’ve had a few operations under general anaesthetic, and you know what tastes great? The digestive and cup of tea they give you once you’ve come around. Digestives are hardly bitter, but coming out of an operation having not eaten for 24 hours somehow presents the humble biscuit in a new light — at that moment, it is the diet of kings.

There’s a subtle but powerful effect in some movies where the soundtrack cuts out, sometimes for a prolonged time. The tension builds in the absence of music, and when the soundtrack comes back in, the effect amplifies the impact of the movie.

When we allow ourselves a prolonged time of boredom (e.g. washing the dishes without a podcast on, God forbid) then the relief (listening to that podcast, reading a book, watching a movie, or whatever) tastes all the sweeter, and has that much greater impact on our souls.

Boredom helps us know our mind

Are your thoughts your own, or do your opinions suspiciously align with everything you hear or read or watch? Are you forging your thoughts, or is your daily narrative written in Silicon Valley? If the world is speaking, and you don’t take time alone to reflect, how do you know what you really think?

As Oscar Wilde possibly said,

“I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

But we’re never alone, are we, Oscar?

Boredom leads to exploration

C.S. Lewis created the conditions of boredom required for Lucy to discover a whole new world (in which one day she would become a queen):

1. wartime evacuation away from friends

2. a rainy day

3. no option to play outside

4. no indoor entertainment but dusty boring professor’s books

5. a giant house in which to play hide-and-seek (and get lost)

6. a bare room with nowhere to hide except for one old wardrobe

Today, we might need to consciously create the conditions to facilitate our boredom to begin exploring and discovering.

After all, if TikTok had been around in the 5th century, I’m not entirely convinced those Trappist Monks would have got around to perfecting the art of brewing beer.

Boredom makes us productive

I heard one author’s approach to the eternal battle of Getting Writing Done was to provide himself with just two options: write, or do nothing. Nothing means nothing — no reading, no emails, no news, n.o.t.h.i.n.g.

Some days, the author would just stare out of the window, doing just that… nothing. But most days, given the lack of options, writing often wins out. Boredom makes even writing seem like fun.

Boredom is a small hardship

The term ‘antifragile’ denotes systems that not only withstand shocks, but actually thrive in the face of volatility:

“Just as human bones get stronger when subjected to stress and tension, many things in life benefit from disorder, volatility, and turmoil.”²

Jonathan Haidt applies this thesis to parenting — rather than coddling and overprotecting children, we should allow them to take risks and experience challenges and small hardships to thrive.

While comfort is, well, comforting, learning to allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable in boredom helps us to develop mental strength.

Boredom teaches us delayed gratification

We have gratification on credit. Instant gratification, delayed cost.

We claim to be more socially or environmentally aware than those before us, yet buy more clothes, and value convenience, especially speed, above all. We see it, we want it.

Furthermore, we’re in record levels of personal debt. And debt is easier and easier to access — companies like Monzo and Klarna are falling over themselves to enable purchases we can’t really afford.

Social media whips up envy, driving users towards purchases: 71.2% of TikTok shoppers in 2023 said they made a purchase when they found something of interest in their feed or Stories.³

We have access to every song, every movie, every game, and yet we want more, more, more. We’re constantly trying to fill the void, to feel the preoccupation of our restless minds and bodies. Similar to when we were 10 years old.

Spending time away from the sources of these material desires doesn’t just give us time to process whether we truly need or want those things. It also teaches us patience, discipline, and the experience of putting something good off, for a little while.

Finally, boredom leads us to look up at the stars

…rather than gazing at our navels.

When we allow enough time, we eventually stop thinking only about ourselves and start to pay attention to the world around us.

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Allowing ourselves to feel boredom is essential for developing ideas, appreciating the good things in life, growing in discipline, making better decisions, growing in thoughtfulness, and for our mental wellbeing amidst the noise of the world.

So choose life — choose boredom.

P.S. Next time your kids tell you they are bored, you can tell them ‘you don’t know what boredom is until you have read this article’.

1. Proverbs 27:7 - The Bible (New Living Translation)

2. Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

3. https://rootdigital.co.uk/blog/tiktok-shop-statistics/